Response Card (RSVP) Wording

Once upon a time, people didn’t need response cards. When they received a written invitation, they would RSVP on their own stationery, offering congratulations and whether or not they would be able to attend.

With the invention of the telephone, it became customary to include a response card for formal invitations, and to ask people to RSVP by telephone for casual invitations.

But what should a response card say, what is the etiquette of response cards, and are there other ways for guests to RSVP?

Response Card Wording
The good news is, there isn’t a “correct” way of response card wording. Instead, there are styles that are more appropriate for a formal wedding, and those best suited to a casual affair. There are also some styles best for a bride and groom with a very tight guest list, or for the person who needs to have a firm control on who is and isn’t coming to the wedding.
The most common styles of RSVP wording are:

1.
The favor of a reply is requested
by June 16, 2006.
M__________________________
____Accepts with pleasure
____Declines with regrets

or

2.
M_____________________________

Will ______ Attend

The line is meant for your guest to fill in Ms, Mr. or Mrs., and write their name(s). In the first option, they simply check off whether or not they can come. In the second option, your guest will RSVP in the affirmative by only writing their name and leaving the space in between “will” and “attend” blank. If they must decline, they will write “not.”

Formal Response Card Wordings
Some still prefer to not include response cards; Miss Manners even calls them horrid. A compromise for a formal wedding is to use a simple small card that says “The favor of a reply is requested by June 16, 2006.” or “We look forward to hearing from you.” Most people will either write a note on their personal stationery, or use the card itself to send back a note. A few will call or email you, and that will be okay in the end.

More Casual and Fun Response Card Wordings :

3.
We look forward to
celebrating with you.
Please reply by June 16, 2006
M___________________________
____ accepts _____ regrets

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

4.
We have reserved two seats in your honor.
M___________________________
{ } Accept with pleasure
{ } Decline with regret
Please respond by June 16, 2006

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

5.
Please take a moment to fill in the blanks:

____________!
(Exclamation)

_____________ is/are ____________ to attend
(Your name{s}) (able/unable)

There are
___________ people in our posse.
(total number)

Kindly mail by June 16, 2006

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Kindly reply before June 16, 2005

Name(s)

_________________

___Can’t wait!
___Can’t come!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Other things you may wish to include in the response card

* You may have guests who will neglect to write in their names, or who write illegibly. Solve this problem by numbering your guest list, then inconspicuously writing the corresponding number on the back of each response card. Trust me, you’ll thank me for it later.

* Even if you are doing a “fill-in-the-blank” style response card, you still may wish to leave some blank area for guests to write personal notes. The notes you’ll receive will likely be a mix of simple, humorous, and poignant, but above all, unforgettable.

* In order to get an exact number of attendees, you may wish to include this line “____ number attending”.

* Some guests will assume that their guests/dates/friends are of course invited, regardless of to whom you address the card. You can avoid these assumptions by writing “___ of ___ guest(s) will attend”, and then pre-filling in the second blank with the number of people that you are inviting. Some may find this slightly distasteful, but it certainly does get the point across!

* Include an easy way for guests to reply by pre-addressing and stamping a return envelope. You may also wish to include a phone number, or email address. Just make sure that email isn’t the only way to reply.

* Particularly if you are inviting a large number of families with children, you may wish to include separate lines reading:
Number Attending Ceremony _______
Number Attending Reception ______

* When I am invited to a wedding without a guest, I hate having to reply on a card grammatically written for a couple. (e.g. M__________ accept with pleasure). If this bothers you as well, be sure to include the single and plural forms, or write the response card so that it is universally appropriate.

For example:
Name(s) _____________________
___ will attend with pleasure
___ must decline with regret